Feeling like a failure in Eating Disorder Recovery? That may be a good sign

What Learning Spanish Taught Me About Not Giving Up—and How That Lesson Applies to Eating Disorder Recovery

After practicing Spanish for 20 years without coming remotely close to correctly pronouncing “erre,” I FINALLY rolled my “R.”

It was a shocking & thrilling moment when the sound came out smoothly— the feeling more like a cat purring on my tongue than a chainsaw sputtering deep in my throat.

I had nearly given up on myself, for years operating with the belief that “I may just not be built to roll my R’s.” I am so grateful that despite thinking this way, I continued to practice, including in front of other people, until one day, it finally clicked. One random day in March 2025… it happened. I rolled my “R” in the middle of a conversation.

This moment offers a potent reminder: learning takes tiiiiiiiime.

Sometimes it takes double, triple, or quadruple the time we think it “should.” But a “should” is just a shame-based expectation. When we release these expectations, we depressurize our learning environment—which creates space for growth to unfold naturally, on its own timeline.

Can you relate to the satisfaction that comes from of failing for so long and finally succeeding? It is quite sweet.

The same is true in eating disorder recovery.

For years, I thought about my body constantly—monitoring, critiquing, managing. Then one day, while surfing, something shifted. I was simply in my body. Not thinking about how it looked, not trying to fix or escape it—just moving, feeling, living, having a wonderful time in the water.

And it hit me: I’ve spent so much of my life thinking about my body… instead of simply living through it.

Just like rolling my “R” after 20 years of trying, healing your relationship with food and your body might not happen on the timeline you expect—but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.

That moment in the water was a massive turning point for me. It dissolved so much body anxiety & helped to heal the remainder or my appearance-based coping obsession. This single moment brought me back to the truth: My body is not a project to manage or a “thing” that needs to be controlled. It’s a living, breathing vessel, a gift for me, my consciousness, to experience life through.

Things can shift in an instant. The moment something clicks, like rolling your “R” or realizing you really are more than a body, often comes quietly, unexpectedly, and right on time.

So whatever you do— don’t give up. You never know what breakthrough is waiting just around the corner.

Ready to experience your next breakthrough in eating disorder recovery?

Email info@cosanacoaching.com to get started with a recovery coach. Recovery breakthroughs are 100% possible. Working with a coach turns possible into probable.

You can learn more about Hayley Schiek and Cosana Coaching HERE.